I have waited for months before typing this blog. The truth is, I was worried about how people would feel about me writing a blog about choosing homeschool when they feel they didn’t have much choice when choosing the educational route for their children. I am sensitive that the very thought of having a choice to homeschool your kids is a privilege that many don’t have. I am so grateful for this opportunity and season in our family’s life. Before I began to explain why I chose to homeschool my children, I wanted to clear the air and let you know that whatever journey you decide for your child, the main thing is to trust God along the way. Parenting is hard, and we do our best every day to make good decisions for our children. Be gentle with yourself. With God’s help and our love for our children, we trust God they will be a direct reflection of who He called them to be. Our job is to prepare them for the journey ahead.
Let me start by saying this: I was the mom that thought I would NEVER homeschool my children. I mean homeschool children are the “weird” kids who are smart but have no socialization skills and stay at home all-the-time. Or at least that is what I innately thought from the outside looking in. I believed ALL kids belonged in public or private schools, and I belonged at work. Little did I know, both of those would prove false narratives in this season of my life.
Let’s take a little walk down memory lane to when my first son entered Kindergarten. Things were going okay the first few days of public school until the second day of Kindergarten. I remember I got a call from the teacher explaining that my son wasn’t following directions and would not stand in line and “make a bubble.” This was causing much disruption to the class. I was shocked. I mean, didn’t preschool daycare prepare him for this very moment? Was I not preparing him to be a good “student.” Later that week, I made a trip to the school to have a parent teacher conference. After much thought, I did my best to prove to her that he is only 5 years old, and it is tough for him to get things “right” after the first few days of school. I am sure he was filled with excitement to meet new friends, or he could have been very nervous about being in this big school with all these new people and far away from his parents. The teacher and principal gently explained to me that this is how public school works, and if he is going to stay in the school, he has to follow the rules. At that moment, I felt a brief disappointment. Would my son be ok? Is this the beginning of much more? Needless to say, he went to school 6 more years after that with few concerns. I have stories like this for each of my boys. I am not sure what it is about boys, but they learn a bit differently.
Needless to say, fast forward to March 2020, My husband and I made the tough decision for me to be a stay-at-home mother. At that time, trying to virtual school in the midst of a scary pandemic was frustrating for everyone. We all struggled with how to make this new reality work. I knew deep inside that my children needed me. Something in our relationship got lost along the way. While working 8 hours a day, volunteering in numerous community service organizations, ministry, and everything else I was committed too, I felt like I really didn’t KNOW the heart of my children. At first, it was difficult while in quarantine to be home with them daily. I saw the ugly and beautiful truth of their hearts, character, and who they are as people. I learned my oldest son is super intelligent and laid back, my middle son is joyful and funny, the baby is…well, he is the baby, and that should say it ALL! LOL! With that being said, my parenting skills also needed some work. I started reading all the parenting books I could get my hands on. If I could go to school and be a prudent student of my education, how much more important should it be for me to learn about my own children?! After doing much research, my best friend, The Cultured Country Mama, and I talked on the phone one day. She has always been interested in homeschooling her children. I told her I was thinking about it, and she shared a virtual Charlotte Mason inspired Homeschool Conference with me. Little did I know that my world would be opened to the vast opportunities of homeschool.
After attending the conference, I learned so many things. Homeschool mothers are not weird, and they do not have weird, unsocialized children. These were normal mothers who decided to stay home and educate their normal children. I was soaking it all in like a sponge. I joined ALL the Facebook homeschool moms groups, did consultations with veteran homeschool moms, spoke with friends, and studied the many homeschool philosophies. In the end, my husband and I prayed about our decision, and I was shocked when my husband told me that he had a core conviction that God was calling our family to homeschool. I always felt that way too, but I never wanted to project my feelings on him. We are both the parents, and I wanted him to pray about the decision himself and see where God would lead us. I am not going to lie; I was SUPER nervous. The thought of me staying home ALL day long with my children TERRIFIED me. I am not sure what scared me so much about it, but it did. I also questioned myself, and if I was truly competent enough to teach my children. But I took the risk and made the jump, and what did you know…we are beginning to fly.
I am learning that homeschool is helping restore my kids childhood. It has taken so much pressure off of them to perform, pass tests, be the best in their class, or succumb to teasing and bullying. They have put down the video games and desired to play outside more. My youngest even learned how to ride his bike. I am learning how to be a better parent. I am discovering my children’s unique abilities and learning behaviors. After all, as their parent, I am their greatest expert! I have the time, passion, and patience to focus on each one of my children individually and figure out what makes them “light up.” Then I do more of that!
I currently use a Christian based Charlotte Mason approach for homeschool. My kids learn from hands-on-experience and a host of “living books.” Charlotte Mason was an educator and philosopher at the turn of the twentieth century. Part of her philosophy was that “children are persons,” and we should treat them as such. In Susan Schaeffer Macaulay’s book, For The Children’s Sake, she mentions that, “Charlotte Mason understood that knowing given lists of facts parrot-wise is not even the beginning of education. She satisfied young persons’ minds with substantial, interesting, well-written material that they could think about. She let them enjoy the beauty in nature, writing, art, music, and the Bible as God’s word to them. She left them precious childhood hours free to climb trees, explore woods, walk, ride, what have you.” We use the Charlotte Mason Institutes Alveary Curriculum, and I sub out materials that I feel help my children learn better. Also, I was able to consult with an amazing veteran homeschooling mama, The Heritage Mom, who gave me so much wisdom, advice, and encouragement along the way.
As for socialization, my kids know every child in the neighborhood. We are apart of various organizations, and I am more intentional about setting up a time to have virtual meet-ups with their friends. Besides, they have a host of cousins. LOL! Also, in Ainsely Arment’s book, Call of The Wild + Free, she mentions there are “studies that show homeschooled children are more likely to have higher self-esteem and be less susceptible to peer pressure. In other words, homeschooling produces socially competent children.”
Will my children go back to public school one day? I don’t’ know, maybe. And if my husband and I make that choice, I am okay with that too. Do what works best for your family! This blog is not to entice you to “pick,” but rather give you a view of “the other side.” Often as humans, we judge things we do not understand. I am guilty of doing that very thing with homeschool. Now I see all the beauty from “the other side” and have often wondered how did I misjudge this concept for so long. As mothers, we often use our measuring stick to compare our family to others instead of organically cultivating what we have. As a mother, you have to trust that God gave you the instincts needed to parent your child. In Texas, you do not have to have a fancy degree to educate your child because they know you have what it takes. Just think you trusted yourself to bring home a newborn baby, and you survived. You had no idea what you were doing when you brought that baby home, but you figured it out, and look at you today! I am confident that God has given you everything you need to parent on this motherhood journey, no matter what decision you make regarding school.
Sarah Mackenzie writes this beautiful poem, and I hope it inspires you as much as it inspires me:
“Raising our children isn’t just about getting them ready for adulthood. It isn’t just about preparation for a career.
It’s about transforming and shaping their hearts and minds.
It’s about nourishing their souls, building relationships, and forging connections.
It’s about nurturing within them care and compassion for whomever they encounter”.
Whether you chose public, private, or homeschool, my prayers are with you and cheer to an amazing year of parenting ahead!
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